i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
