Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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