i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She's JV to your varsity
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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