walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
