when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
