His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
