So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
