Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
