These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
