Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
