Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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