fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
