I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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