yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
