Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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