Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
