honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
