I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
