Kiss
Puke
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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