is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
