I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
