we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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