Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
