You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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