Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
