She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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