I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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