member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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