also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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