so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just google imaged poop.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
