Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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