i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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