I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
