He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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