Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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