i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
