I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
