Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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