Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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