It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
