I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
