Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
