definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
