fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She even gives head with a lisp.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
