i just wanna soil my oats bro
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
