My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
is it fun? or sober?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
