I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
