You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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