So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
