You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
