yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
