quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
